Of all places, I found myself in a bathtub. My face is dripping with tears. “Who am I?’ I kept saying, “I repeat. “Who am I?’ I couldn’t possibly be this woman sobbing inconsolably while drinking wine and contemplating who she had become and where her true self had disappeared. I was a powerful girl who was strong, self-assured, motivated, and confident; women aren’t meant to entirely lose themselves in a relationship.
But I did. my character. my slumber. driving me. my associates My opinions. They had all evolved. by a guy. with love.
Love, they say, blinds you, and, to be honest, it blinded me. When you finally meet the person with whom your mind clicks, your heart cherishes, and your eyes sparkle, it is simple to do whatever it takes to maintain that connection. ANYTHING. I fell into the well-known, terrifying trap of totally losing myself as a result.
I’m not the only lady to have done this, either. Many of you have probably experienced this.
The fact is that all relationships eventually need some form of concession or giving up, but it is absolutely possible to give up much too much of yourself out of love and end up losing yourself in a relationship.
Nobody wants to be in a relationship for days, weeks, or even years and then wake up wondering what the heck happened? “Where have I been? ”
How can you avoid falling into the all-too-common trap of surrendering your life, work, personality, and other connections to a relationship?
Here are eight strategies to help you love another person while avoiding losing yourself in a relationship:
1. DO YOU, ALWAYS
A dear companion of mine reaffirmed to me when I ended that all-consuming relationship: “Do you, Taylor, always do you!”
Her comments rang in my ears when I sought a new romantic relationship. I took a seat and wrote down everything that made me… ME! That has to be the cornerstone of my existence in a partnership going ahead. I have to be myself instead of acting like someone else.
You are similarly accurate. Keep your individuality, peculiarities, likes and dislikes, and interests alive and vivid! Sharing your amazing life with someone is always preferable to losing your amazing life to someone.
Do you, whether you’re single, dating, or married!
2. INVEST IN YOURSELF AND YOUR PASSIONS
It’s crucial to keep investing in your life with your resources, particularly in areas like career development, education, health, and interests. You must choose where to spend your limited resources because they are limited in both time and money. These priceless resources will be used in certain relationships, but not all of them.
I made it a point to return to school and further my education while seriously dating during a much healthier relationship. I spent a lot of time and money on my coursework, therefore I wasn’t always available. But taking care of myself provided me the energy I needed to devote to my beloved.
Nobody should attempt to pour into someone else while their tank is empty.