Not every date will be a success, but ideally we should be able to carry on simple discussions with enough ease to give us a chance. There is a solution to stop things from being awkwardly silent and sluggish when the talk slows down, though. Here are some suggestions for preventing those lulls and improving your dating experience.
1. CONNECT OVER YOUR SHARED INTERESTS
Talking about a topic that the other person is genuinely interested in is one of the finest methods to start a discussion that will go on for a while. Even if you may not yet be aware of their preferences, the majority of individuals enjoy discussing themselves, so you should keep your inquiries on them. When you find something they enjoy, such as cooking, football, or Stranger Things (it is 2022, after all), attempt to engage them in conversation about it. If you engage them in a topic they are enthusiastic about (or something you both care deeply about, which is even better), there won’t be any awkward silences.
2. THINK BACK TO EARLIER SUBJECTS
You may always go back a few minutes and take up with another subject if you sense that the discussion is going to strike a brick wall. If you genuinely believe that the conversation has come to an end, you’re certain to remain in an unpleasant silence, but you could also find that you still have some unanswered questions regarding something they discussed previously.
3. RELAX
Although you can’t always control your nervousness, remember that you are speaking to a fellow human being and not a Greek deity or goddess. Your conversation is more likely to flow naturally the more at ease you can stay. It’s merely the initial meeting. The scenario isn’t life or death, so don’t stress over having an awkward silence. Instead, simply go with the flow.
4. SKIP THE NEGATIVITY
People occasionally have a propensity to gripe or go on the offensive over something as filler. However, if you’re just getting to know someone, it might be unpleasant to start a discussion in a negative tone if they don’t want to join your whining party. If all you’re doing is whining and they’re just sitting there in quiet, like, “WTF,” things may become very uncomfortable very quickly.
5. SUMMARIZE WHAT THEY SAY
Talk about what they said back to them in as many words as you can if you’re unsure of where to go with a conversation. This will let them know that you’re interested in what they’ve said and have been listening to them, and it could also prompt them to think of something else to say. Having stated that, you should only sometimes utilize this conversational technique. Otherwise, you’re just going to wind up looking like a freak.
6. PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY
Eliminating interruptions is one approach to maintain the flow of a discussion. He may assume you are paying attention, but if he doesn’t, he probably won’t continue talking while you browse Instagram. It seems sense that you could suffer awkward silence if the majority of your date is spent on separate sides of the table reading through social media.
More ways to avoid that dreaded awkward silence on your dates
7. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE AN HR OFFICER CONDUCTING AN INTERVIEW
In general, asking individuals questions one after another doesn’t lead to fruitful communication since the other person begins to feel pressured. If you catch yourself doing this and notice it because a tense moment of quiet has begun to set in, go back to telling them something about yourself or asking them to elaborate on something they’ve previously said.
8. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLACE YOU’RE AT
If you meet at a bar or restaurant, it should be simple to mention the setting if you run out of topics to discuss. If your date is taking place in a location you’ve always wanted to visit or that others have told you is well-known for its cocktails or BBQ burgers or something similar, bring it up in conversation.
9. DON’T WORRY THAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING STUPID
Awkward silence results from not saying much or enough. Instead of overanalyzing and recognizing that some of your inquiries or assertions could be a touch foolish, you’re typically better off just talking. If they are the appropriate person for you, they will understand that you are a little uneasy and will be understanding.
10. ASK THEM QUESTIONS THAT YOU’RE LEGITIMATELY INTERESTED IN KNOWING THE ANSWERS TO
Even if it sounds a little strange, ask them about their childhood pets, where they went to school, what their favorite book is, etc. People can generally sense if you care about what you’re saying or not. Don’t engage in discussion only for its own sake. Make it interesting and something you enjoy doing.
11. DON’T FREAK OUT IF AWKWARD SILENCE DOES OCCUR
Who cares if there is a brief awkward silence? Instead of stressing out and focusing just on the individual, maintain your composure and glance about you. After all, that happens rather frequently, particularly when you don’t know the other person well. If things work out between you, you’ll be able to joke about it when it passes.
12. ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT THEY’RE SAYING
The only thing you should be doing is listening to the other person, which is likely impossible if you’re in your brain thinking of something to say. If they ask you a question and you are unable to respond because you were too preoccupied overthinking the situation to hear it, the ensuing quiet will be uncomfortable. Breathe!
13. FLASH THEM A SMILE
Instead of dreading the moment, take advantage of a pause in conversation to flash them your pearly whites and let them know how much fun you’re having. Silence only becomes awkward when you start to judge it. The uneasiness could even be completely eliminated if this results in a fit of laughing.